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I Can Do Good All By Myself! - Book Cover

Friday, May 28, 2010

If Loving You is Wrong....

"I know that I am treading on dangerous ground in this relationship, but I can't help myself! I have been down the Valley of Disaster in all of my prior relationships, but I see a man that I want and I have to have him. I have gotten Counseling from my Pastor, saved friends and loved ones but nothing is working. I know that loving him is wrong, for more reasons than I want to admit, but.....HELP!"
This submission goes on to define how this individual has been in church all of her life and knows what needs to be done, but she continues to consciously make decisions to do what she wants to do. After working with her for many months, I began to see the pattern of how I would spend hours working with her to find an action plan of what to do, how to do it and her level of determination to do something different. One particular day after spending hours on this process, I released her to carry out our action plan only to have her return to my office a few minutes later with a report that she deliberately did exactly the opposite of what we spent the prior two hours working on! Every action is the result of a DECISION that we make about a situation. In counseling I tell my clients that Responsibility is the end result of choices that we make and the consequences that follow. I see so many people that say they want a Godly mate, but fail to apply Godly principles in pursiut of that kind of relationship. I have learned that a Godly mate is desired by many, but few are willing to follow the guidelines that put them in the running to obtain the prize without utilizing ungodly standards. So I have begun to say, "If you just want a relationship, just say that, but don't put the label of a "Godly" relationship on it to sound spiritual when you know you are not willing to play by the rules for this level of commitment to yourself, the relationship, or to God". The bottom line is this: God does not have to use any of Satan's tools to get His promises to us. If you have to violate the word of God by fornication, adultery, lying, etc. in order to have the relationship, just be prepared for the harvest of the seeds you are planting. Simple as that. In closing, stop praying for a "Man of God" as a mate if you are not going to conduct yourself as a "Woman of God" in order to obtain or maintain the relationship. This Blog is entitled, "If Loving You is Wrong... You can conclude it by the famous stanza and say, "I Don't Want to be Right." Or you can conclude it by saying, "I'm GONNA BE RIGHT!" We are free will agents. The Choice is Yours. Just remember, the greatest witness of your motives is clearly indicated by your actions.
Thought for the week: "Actions speak louder than words"~Michel de Montaigne

Friday, May 14, 2010

Lovesick & Hopeless

"After years upon years of failed relationships, I am beginning to lose hope that I will ever find the 'one' that God has for me. My friends seem to find relationships with no problem at all. However, even though they have someone, the relationships end up failing and we are all back in the same boat again. Is there really any hope for us? ~Lovesick & Hopeless in Seattle.
Despite the challenges that love and relationships bring, there is an ultimate plan from God that allows us to move past the hurt of betrayal, infidelity, lies and deception into the “land of milk and honey” that God promises to all of his children. When you get to the point that you realize that ”the promises of God are Yea and Amen to the glory of Christ Jesus” (2 Corinthians 1:20) you will realize that His promises are not contingent upon one person. If that person does not fulfill their obligations or commitment to you, the promises of God will not fall to the ground. The Word of God says in Isaiah 46:11 that “God will summons a man from a far country to fulfill his purpose.” What the spirit of God wants us to realize in this passage is that his purposes will stand, and if the arm of the flesh fails us, he will raise up someone who is fit for the challenge. God has a worthy companion for you, but you have to wait on the timing of God and make sure that the mate that you receive is sent from God and God alone. If not, you will be settling for a cheap copy of the original that God has planned for your life. No matter how real something appears to be to the unskilled eye, a discerning eye can pick out a counterfeit every time. Your spirit is designed for a certain kind of mate. Because God is the manufacturer of us all when we belong to him, only he can determine the appropriate compliment to your original design.
Thought for the Week: You are a Designer's Original

Thursday, May 6, 2010

What is Your Worth?

My favorite way of encouraging any “woman in waiting” is in terms of a prize diamond: “Desired by many, seen by few and obtained by only one”. Anyone can look at a prize diamond and say, “Boy, that sure is an exquisite (good looking, gorgeous, stunning, attractive and beautiful) diamond. I sure wouldn’t mind having that”. First of all, the desirability of the diamond is not what is in question. The worth of it is suggested by the fact that the diamond is in a vault, under high security and only serious contenders are allowed to even view it. That’s what the second part of my proverb means. It’s no doubt that you are highly sought after, but when you know your worth, you allow only the serious contenders to get close enough to really know you. What are your prerequisites for a serious contender? Is he/she saved? Does he/she have a relationship with God? Can he see past your physical attributes into the inner chambers of your heart? Only you can determine what qualities a potential mate, your potential mate, should possess. But if you don’t know your worth and set your standards so low that just anyone can handle you, you decrease in value.
This leads to the last portion of my proverb: “obtained by only one”. No matter how many people desire to have you, God has ordained for only one person to have the right to call you their own. When he looked over creation and found not a helpmate that was suitable for Adam, he created Eve. He specifically designed her to compliment his weaknesses, fulfill his needs and satisfy his desires. God has specifically designed that special one for you. Know your worth and don’t sell yourself to the lowest bidder. God has the mate for you that is equipped and qualified to pay the price spiritually and naturally to carry you!
Thought for the week: "Desired by many, seen by few, obtained by only One"~Quote from "I Can Do Good All By Myself"